My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
