Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
