i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
