You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
