If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
