Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
