it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
