So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
