Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
