Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
