remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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