it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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