I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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