can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize