A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
