While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
