he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
