Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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