You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
