i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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