Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
