Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
