One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
