it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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