She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
