goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
