After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
