i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
