So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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