ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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