i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
40s are totally the cure
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
