Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
