Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
