He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
