my mouth tastes like poor choices
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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