I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
