Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
