guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
