Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
