summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
