Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
