i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Houston, we have a blender
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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