i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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