peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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