So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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