their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's never too late to be topless.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
