absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I supernannyed him into submission
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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