I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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