i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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