I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This toilet bowl is my home.
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