Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
