Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
