You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
how does that bad decision feel?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
