I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
