nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
